Worried

It's that time again, to try not to worry but to worry because of the scans. It's been 2 months since the last scans, which were thankfully the good results that we wanted to see. 2 months is a long time. What Jeannine and I are worried most about is that Jovee has been letting us know that her left leg, around the knee area, is "owie". She rarely, rarely complains. Plus this morning, at 3:30 am, she whimpered a lot in her sleep. First time that she's ever done that. She's pretty smart...we take her seriously but sometimes I think she's playing us with the "owie" on her leg but there's no way that she's playing us when she whimpers in her sleep at 3:30 am. I don't like it at all and it does concern me a lot. We have to make sure that at the scans and visits that the doctors exam it, have the scans focus on it. I hope it's nothing with the spread of the cancer in that area and that it's hurting her. I remember in Seattle when Austin was being managed by the pain meds to try to control his leukemia...his mom said that he whimpered a lot because of the pain. Just breaks my heart to think of the possibility that the cancer is hurting her. "It's just growing pains, it's just growing pains, it's just growing pains" is what I think to band-aid the cancer thoughts.

My diabetes numbers are way out of whack. Yeah, partly because of what I eat but stress definitely has something to do with it. I mean, how much stress could I really have? My A1C is at 14. Very, very bad number. That was from the labs last Thursday, January 31st. So I walked 3 miles yesterday. I have to watch my carb and sugar intake and exercise a lot.

Was listening to a really good song by Sara Evans, Never Alone:

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you
When it's time to go home

May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold

May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Chorus:Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Well I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Just a really sweet, makes you feel good song. We've used a lot of music for "therapy".