Thursday, September 9, 2010


Happy Birthday Shyanne.  One years old.

Today we're going to take the kids out of school early, go to the hospital where Shyanne was born and give a gift to the nurse that really saved Jeannine and Jovee's life during the crazy delivery.  We decided as a family that for Shyanne's birthday we would give a gift to another family that has a baby that is born on this September 9th date.  Before we gave a gift to another family we decided to first give a gift to the nurse, nurse Brenda.  After giving the gift we're going to just go to visit her grave site.  Each of us is going to write a message on a helium filled balloon or attach a small note to the balloon and let it go.  I guess that's the tradition that a lot of people do is let balloons go.  We'll write short messages to Shyanne, let the balloons fly up to heaven, she'll get the message and smile. 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

News for now...

Talked to the ENT Dr., said it was a polyp, Dr. is not too worried about it.  Giving Augmentin and Nasonex, has major sinus infection which has made the polyp worse.  Dr. Roller said she'll take a look at it to see if it's cancerous or not; the likelihood of it being cancerous and related to Jovee's neuroblastoma is highly unlikely.  So next follow up appointment is on the 13th of September, Brooke and Bennet's 9th birthday.

Kids started school today.  Jovee was so excited to go, she had her back pack and everything all ready last night. 

That's the news for now on Bennet.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Now news

Sweat test for cystic fibrosis.  They get these nodes hooked up to his arm, the nodes somehow stimulates the sweat glands, and then the sweat is collected. 

Sweat is collected.

Got both the sweat test and CT scan done yesterday.  I tried to get answers of the CT scan but nothing.  The ENT doctor is out doing surgeries today and might call me back on the results; otherwise she'll be back on Monday.  I have to call again today because they have to have more than one doctor to read the results.  Sure can not wait until Monday for results to see.  The nurse couldn't tell me what the abnormal mass in the left nasal passage was.  All they did was ordered some anti-biotics (Augmentin) for what they think is sinusitis, inflammation in the left nasal passage way.

That's about it for now.  No news. Yet.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bennet appointments today

Everyone went to Silverwood / Boulder Beach today and it sounds like they all had a great time.  I had to stay home and do lots of work.  Better making money than riding a crazy ride that would make me go round and round and round and make me puke.  I'm not a theme park kind of a person so I'm glad to have stayed behind. 

Bennet's first appointment this Wednesday morning is at 9am at Deaconess.  I've only been to Deaconess Hospital once, don't want to get to know it like I know Sacred Heart.  The 9am test is an hour long sweat test to see if he's got cystic fibrosis.  Anytime there are polyps, they want to rule out CF.

Next appointment is at 12:30 pm at Inland Imaging for the CT scan of the head / nasal passage. 

That's the schedule.  Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts....send some our way.

Monday, August 23, 2010


Bennet has had this major sniffling thing going on for over a month now.  Finally took him to the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor today....

In short, his left nostril has some kind of a growth in there.  That's 100% certain.  Just don't know exactly what that growth is.  Possibly a nasal polyp.  I guess that's the best case end of the spectrum.  Won't know until we get a CT scan done.  The ENT doc said it's likely a polyp but she can't confirm.  Only way is to do a CT to rule that it is or isn't a polyp.  If it isn't a polyp, then the doc said the worst case end of the spectrum is a glioma.  As far as what type of glioma (nasal or brain), we do not know yet until the CT scan is done.

Anyways, polyp to glioma.  Big spectrum. 

Interestingly, an isolated polyp could be connected to neuroblastoma. 

All these range of thoughts...Jeannine and I need to know real, real soon so we want the CT scan done asap.  Stupid Wikipedia on glioma states that "gliomas cannot be cured".  This is the pessimistic side of looking at things. 

It all could be nothing but just don't assume anything until we know for sure.  Just don't assume anything....

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Spokane Indians game

Had a good time at the Spokane Indians game last night.  Got free tickets for the entire family through the Children's Miracle Network.  Got to go on the field before the game started.  The Children's Miracle Network game each of us 3 balloons to let go into the air after the Star Spangled Banner was sung to honor children who have passed away from cancer.  The kids all got Spokane Indians baseball.  The Indians scored 6 runs or more so everyone got Taco Bell Chalupas and a coupon for free stack of pancakes at IHOP.  Bennet threw the baseball 50 mph and won the 8 year old and under division for fastest pitch at the baseball throwing contest and won 2 free tickets to a future Spokane Indians game. 

Eventful night at the ball park.

Excellent results

Got the official report in the mail from Sacred Heart on Jovee's scans:

CT Scans:  Chest, abdomen, and pelvis are normal, stable left paraesophageal soft tissue.

Mibg Scan:  Stable appearance of focal increased radiotracer uptake in the superior mediastinum.  Noc new focus of abormal radiotracer activity


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

So far, so good

Great day so far...nurse Jill got it right the first poke and drew blood right away.  Jovee still cried but took good, deep breaths and the needle went in perfect the first time.  None of the 3-7 times like before.  What a blessing!

Then they moved the CT for tomorrow to today so got that over and done with.  Like always, she layed perfectly still for the CT scan.  Scanned her neck, chest, abodomen, and pelvis.  Come on!  Clean scans!!!!!

SSKI drops vs. Jovee

So as part of getting scans, both the CT and MIBG, Jovee has to prepare for protection against the radioactivity of the machines, specifically the MIBG scan.  So she has to take this super duper nasty radiation protective agent called SSKI.  The SSKI specifically helps protect the thyroid.  Normally Jeannine would just open up Jovee's G-Tube and just shoot it in but....since Jovee doesn't have her G-Tube anymore, she has to take it orally.  We knew it was going to be a struggle but having thyroid issues is something we don't want her to have to go through so she has to take it.

Yes, she cried like crazy.  The SSKI drops are about as nasty me nasty words.  It's just nasty.  Try having a 5 year old take this stuff.  Well, Jovee cried and tried to find many excuses not to take it but finally Jeannine and I were prepared to just pin her down and force it down her.  Yes, we did try ice cream, major dilution in water, and much bribery but to no avail.  Finally just said I'm counting to 5 and if you don't get it down yourself then we're forcing it down you.  Well, she cried some more champion, my champion.

She's so tough, with major tears and all, Jovee just put the plastic syringe pumped with her dosage of the SSKI and just gave herself the dosage.  No, it did not stay down and she just gagged and immediately threw up.

Besides the fact that she threw up and didn't get hardly any of the drops inside of her, she did it herself.  Man, she's one brave soul.  Knowing that it was so nasty she still forced herself to take it.  She really tried to keep it down but just could not.  We just told her we'll try again tomorrow (I guess this) morning.  She has to take it 5 times before her MIBG on Wednesday.  Don't
know if that's gonna happen but we have to try. 

Anyways, she just was so super brave against the nasty SSKI.  What a great example of doing something tough and being obedient.  It really took a lot for her to just do it herself. 

Let's hope the nurse or whoever is going to inject the needle for blood work get it right the first time this morning!  No 5 - 7 pokes in one sitting.  She's gonna do great and then we'll take her to her favorite-est place to eat, Noodle Express.

Let's hope for good news and no evidence of disease!  This is my prayer and my plead to God.  Let's hope that stingy spot below her left collar bone has completely shrunk to next to nothing. 

Brooke got her hair cut today.  She really likes it and has been playing with it all day after she got it cut.  I'll have to take a picture real soon to post.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Nothing new...

Our awesome buddies; Grace, Drew, Whitney, and Chaddy Chad

New blogger layout...not familiar with it since I haven't posted anything since May.

Just got back from Camp Side by Side. All I can say is, "Boost it! Boost it!" - you had to be there. Tyson is now officially "super good look'in" - also had to be there at Camp Side by Side. Jovee asks if she can go see Whitney. She really bonded well with Whitney. All of the buddies were great with the kids. Sorry you messed up your shoulders Chad. You have a year to heal up and then we'll race again.

Was a great time to once again bond with and talk to other cancer families. Some amazing kids and parents out there. Samir and Skyler are just two of the amazing kids there (and of course their amazing parents).

Not too much going on with Jovee. Just patching her weak eye and keeping glasses on her so her droopy eye gets stronger.

Jovee has scans August 17th and 18th. Good news please.

September 9th is coming around; Shyanne's 1st birthday. Today was a hard day for Brooke when she visited Shyanne at the cemetary. When it comes close to significant days like 1st birthday, it does get hard. We had family photos taken at Camp Side by Side and it was sad to not have Shyanne in the photos. We visited past home and hospital videos of her and man, it was difficult.

We're done with family vacation stuff for the summer. Kind of back to normal everyday life.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

G-Tube is out

Dr. Thorn took Jovee's G-Tube out today. A little painful experience but she got bandaged up good. Hopefully she'll heal fast and her second belly button will not have any residual problems. She's not moving very much, just chill'in on the coach, watching Barbie movies.

Graduated from the G-Tube!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Great news

No evidence of disease in the bone marrow!

Party in the USA!!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Bone Marrow Biopsy today

Another big day in the day and life of our Jovee...

She'd been complaining, hopefully just growing pains, about a lot of pain in her arms, in her legs, hips, and especially behind her left knee cap. Oncologist says to keep good track of her for two weeks; document every time and where she hurts. After two weeks of close monitoring, oncologist was worried enough to schedule a bone marrow biopsy...

Go away and stay're not welcome in Jovee's body.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Old Man

Went to the elementary school to hang out with the kids on this nice and shiny on the swing, swang myself kind of high, tried to show off to the kids, jumped off, and......hurt my ribs when I landed wrong. I'm old. My body is old.

Wrote thank you cards finally for Shyanne's funeral. A lot of cards to get out. We put it off...I think because I knew it was going to be hard. And it was. Hard because of how humbling it was to receive all the love and support and hard because just revisiting her passing away.

I try to be strong and OK. Keeping busy doing things is good but yesterday, Saturday morning after Bennet's basketball game, by myself driving to work, I just broke down and cried a waterfall of tears. You have moments like that and it is good to just let the tears flow. I'm all right for now again.

We celebrated Shyanne's 6 months birthday on the 9th. Had ice cream cake and just visited with the kids again. It was nice.

Sacred Heart gave us tickets to the Spokane Chiefs hockey game Friday night so our family, Sue and Jim, and Renee's kids all had a nice night at the hockey game. Carolyn from the Sunflower program at Sacred Heart thinks of our family and gets these relief things for, I guess you would call us, "families going through really tough experiences" or "the we feel sorry for your family" family. Nice to have continuing relief and support.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


I need a miracle...

Yesterday was Shyanne's 6 month birthday. We celebrated with some ice cream cake. A good time was had by all.

Anybody know where I can find a miracle for cheap?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

In Seattle

Got in Seattle last night. Stayed in a hotel that was supposed to be quality but it wasn't that quality. Hot tub was dirty. Had to take a good shower after dipping my foot in it. Jovee and Jeannine came along. Jovee was so excited to get in the hot tub the entire trip over so she just jumped right in. Jeannine followed and then noticed how dirty the water was. She figured she'd stay a little longer in it and suffer through the gross-ness of it. The things that parents do for their kids.

Space Needle right outside the hotel window. Not bad view of it.

Hotel also had continental breakfast. Jeannine stared at a old man pick his nose at the breakfast table; almost made her throw up because he was almost at the knuckle as far as how deep he was in the hole. Afterwards he wiped it on the chair. Jeannine seriously almost threw up. Then she almost threw up again as the old man licked that finger that was doing the digging. My back was turned so I missed the spectacle.

Had a good little trip over. Met with one of my all time favorite missionaires, Elder Loosle. We met at the McDonalds in Moses Lake. Always good to see him.

Back in Seattle today. Jeannine and Jovee are visiting the Seattle Children's area. Reminder of the days of high dose chemo, radiation, Seattle Children's hospital stay...

Got to go visit Seattle China town to go get some really good Boba Tea, Almond flavor. There's a little shop that serves really good Almond Boba Tea.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Man, I miss Shyanne a lot today. Like a lot a lot. Had her "deleted" from the membership at the YMCA. Made me really sad. She had her own little membership card with her picture on it, too. Gosh, I really really miss her right now.

It's gonna be all right.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Nothing much...

They just got done with this...should be set at the grave site soon. Happy to see that it turned out really nice but was really sad to see it. Cried almost immediately.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fullness of Joy

A customer of mine today said that she honestly believed that I was lying to her about our situation. She couldn't believe that, in her own words, someone could have that much turmoil in their life.

I was humbled and was completely filled with joy this evening when, FINALLY, Dr. Judy called and said that she did not see anything to be concerned about on both the CT and MIBG scans.

I had been, if you really can, preparing for the worst bad news. These last weeks of Jovee's leg, knees, foot, etc...hurting her to where she would get up and cry at night time because of the pain have been making me really ill. I couldn't help but to think that we'd get the news of relapse. But no...everything looked good on the scans. The mass that keeps showing up in her scans has actually shrunk a bit. Yeah!!!!!! We really, really, really, really needed good news. We got it. Now we have some breathing room. I did try to put Shyanne aside because of Jovee's scans. We're clear for a while now. So much weight lifted off my shoulders. You really don't know how relieved that Jovee's tests came back clear. I'm drained and really tired and need to go to bed...Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Yes, it was an awesome present today .

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

No news yet

Had to get 5 pokes yesterday. Her veins look good but is deceiving. She did really good, considering it took 5 needles to get the IV in.

Yesterday was the CT, today was the MIBG.

Called to try to get results but no news. The assistant to the oncologist said she the oncologist has not reviewed the tests yet and couldn't release information.

So I wait in big time anticipation until morning time.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Send some good vibes upstairs

Yeah, we need some good faith, prayer, petition, begging, whatever you want to call it for good results tomorrow and Wednesday.

Jovee has her labs tomorrow morning, have to check in at 9:20 am. Hope that the nurse can find her vein on the first try and get the blood they need. MIBG injection at noon and then CT scans at 1:00 pm.

Another long day at the resort.

COME ON!!! Good results, good results, good results!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Happy Flowers

This is her temporary head stone. I'm excited, I guess, to see her real one, the finsihed product. Should be ready and ready to be set here next month.

Jean bought these for Shyanne Sunday before she went back to Denver. They're really happy, bright flowers. Makes me happy.

Have gone by the site the last 3 mornings. Just talking to her. Telling her that I love her and miss her, that I wish I could have raised her. She was such a good, good baby.

Been missing her a lot. I'm not absolutely 100% depressed 24 hours a day. Been keeping busy with work and all so those moments my mind is off of her. But when I'm not busy, that's when I think about Shyanne. Shiny Shyanne....

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Don't know what to say...don't read this if you're having a good day because I don't want to bring disappoint to I'm adding lots of paragraphs so you have the choice to avoid reading this blog right now, if you're having a good, positive day....

This morning, again, for the past month or so, not ignoring Jovee because having to take care of Shyanne, had to give Jovee some Children's Motrin / Tylenol because Jovee woke up with pains on her foot / behind her knee cap / leg.


This is the realistic, pessimistic, human side of me. As a neuroblastoma parent, especially with a child in remission, you cringe when your child complains of any pains in the joints or any type of pains anywhere. Especially when your child, like Jovee, isn't a complainer.

I'm not writing this to ask for any type of "feel sorry for the Lim family" message. I'm just writing because it's been a reality and a monumentous (if that's a word) concern, aside from Shyanne. Jeannine and I haven't talked about it too much, maybe because we don't want to, not ready to, not prepared to but reality is reality.

The oncologist says if it's not an all day complaining than she's not that worried about it. She doesn't live with Jovee all day, all the time. Jeannine says she does complain and has complained during the day about her legs and hips hurting. The pain, if she has any, is mostly during the night.

I scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO because if her neuroblastoma relapses than she only has time. How much we don't know. No child that has relapsed from neuroblastoma has lived, as far as I know, as far as all the NB kids that I've followed.

I don't know if I even want to pray for or believe in a miracle or miracles. Just don't want to be disappointed and get my hopes up. But I have to keep the faith...I really have to.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Last couple of days

This is a long post. Don’t get in trouble at work ready this long post :-)

Friday morning:

Picked up my cousins, Davy and Dany, from Spokane Airport. They flew in from Colorado. They’ve been very, very supportive emotionally since the beginning of Shyanne’s birth til now. I’ve called my cousin Davy a lot, keeping her updated on Shyanne’s status since birth, shed many tears over the phone talking with her. I know it hurt her immensely that she did not get a chance to meet or hold Shyanne. It really hurt me to watch her hurt. We’ve always have had a good bond growing up. All three of us went to the headstone store, I guess that’s what you call it, to pick out a headstone for Shyanne. We’re going to put a small picture of her on the headstone. Another emotional moment, the realization of picking out a headstone for her grave.
Went to the Oriental market to get some ingredients for Pho. Yum. Dany and Davy made really good Pho. Mia, Pauline, Jean, Jacky, Nick, and Heidi all drove up from Colorado. They got here pretty fast. I love Jeannine’s family, my church family, my good friends here in Deer Park but it was so really nice to see my immediate family from Colorado.
Jeannine and I went to the funeral home to dress Shyanne’s body around 3 pm. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be seeing her body again for the 1st time since she was taken from our home the other night. Her body was ice cold and stiff. Her facial looks just did not look like the Shyanne that I know. It didn’t take that long to dress her body, just put her in a nice white dress, white tights, and white socks. The casket was nice and white.
The funeral director, Ralph Lauer, was very helpful all throughout this event. He was very nice, cordial, and the “weird funeral director” good. You know like in the movies how people that work with dead bodies are kind of weird. Well, he was the good weird.
My sister in law Pauline made a 4 minute movie of Shyanne. Most of the recordings were from the previous weekend that her and Mia were here. I walked in the kitchen and saw Davy and Dany shedding tears watching it on the laptop, took a 2 second glance of it, saw Shyanne alive on video, and just broke down. The video was made to the song, “In the Arms of an Angel”.
Dinner came around and my family all hung out. Ate the really good Pho soup that Davy and Dany made for everybody. Good grub!! We all just hung out that evening, playing card and dice games. Good family time. Nathan and Jared came over and Tiffany and Micah and little “Mini-Me” Dylan (Tiffany’s son) came over. We all just had a good time enjoying each other’s company. Played a couple of rounds of Greedy. The penalty for the 1st round for the bottom 3 losers was a bite of a glazed donut with lots of Soy sauce. Yeah, it was gross! Mia, Jacky, and Micah did the pleasure of losing and eating. Again, yeah, it was gross! I really have a good family. Everybody is so caring and giving. Good family relationships is all that matters to me. Always has but even more so now with the loss of Shyanne. I’m very luck to have an awesome family. Lucky me.

SATURDAY, funeral day:

Morning was hard preparing for the talk. Really, my heart hurt thinking about it. My best friend, Kenny, from high school called. Had a good little talk with him. He was very sympathetic and supportive to me.

Thanks to everybody that came.

I chose to wear a yellow tie because I wanted to convey sunshine and happiness. That was how I want to and how I want people to remember her.

1 pm came around and family members gathered in the Relief Society room where the viewing was. Another hard moment. I saw Jean, Mia, Davy, and Dany cry. Again, one of the hardest things about all this is seeing people that I love hurting, shedding their tears of sorrow for missing Shyanne.

The pall bearers were Rick in the back, Mia in front, Tyson and Bennet on the sides. They did really good. Especially my boys. My boys carrying their baby sister…They both looked comfortable and solemn as they helped to carry the casket. They both looked sharp in their suits.

As the boys, Rick, and Mia carried her casket into the chapel, right before we walked in, everybody stood. We followed (I was carrying Jovee and holding Jeannine’s hand). As at other funerals, you just out of respect stand up when the casket comes in. This was different. The spiritual feeling in the air was incredibly thick and tangible (at least to me). ALL the family and friends that were there (from immediate family, church family, neighbors, business associates), (really, ALL that were there) are really good, special people. They are all because of their true goodness, influential people, what has been termed “giants of goodness” or “spiritual giants”. All these “giants” reverently stood to honor this “noble and great one” as she entered into the room. Like on TV, when royalty enters, everyone stands up out of respect, for royalty. Princess Shyanne, although enclosed in the casket, was royalty, surrounded by royal, good members of Heavenly Father’s kingdom. The power of all the powerful people that were in the chapel, the power of love and unity, was out of this earthly, mortal world. For that brief moment, I experienced something special, not of this world. These were/are my feelings.

The only other time I’ve ever felt the spirit of God so tangible was on my mission when the entire Washington DC South missionaries gathered together in the Washington DC temple on the top floor in the solemn assembly room for a mission conference. This was just as, if not, more special.

Outline of talk at Shyanne’s memorial:

Shyanne Shiny, happy, ray of light, sunshine and happiness…


The thank you cards that we will try to write for the flowers, food, hugs, toys, money, Christ-like service will be endless. So many people offered to help, “What can we do, what can we do?” but because we have so many family and friends, there was not much to do. Everything that was needed for this day was taken care of. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you’ve done for my wife and children.


This morning while preparing for this talk, my heart physically felt like it was going to explode. It physically just ached and hurt.

The ache was 2 fold:

1) It ached because of the realization of the departure of Shyanne
2) It was so full from thinking of all the amazing support and love we’ve received. I was thinking about how blessed we have been, how many blessings we’ve received and my heart was so full of thanks there wasn’t enough room to fill my heart.

A great song called, “IN THIS VERY ROOM”:


On the floor in the living room with her legs going really fast, like riding a bicycle and arms flailing…

Her kisses, she’d like my lips…


PEACE from THE SCRIPTURES – the scriptures are not just any feel good earthly, temporary advice from Dr. Phil book.

The scriptures, contained in it are the words of Jesus Christ, I figure that lived and lives today. You don’t have to be a Mormon, Baptist, Buddhist, Seventh Day Adventist to feel the true peace that comes from the words of the Savior Jesus Christ from the scriptures


JOHN 14:1

“Let not your heart be troubled” – Don’t troubled by this loss of Shyanne

JOHN 14: 2, 3
“In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you”

JOHN 14:26, 27

Christ is speaking to his disciples. I just picked this up just this morning, in the previous verses, Christ was speaking with Judas, the disciple who betrayed Him. Possibly telling the betrayer how to find peace:

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

SAYS IT AGAIN, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”

Says it twice, in the beginning, and in the middle of the chapter. If Christ says it twice, it must be significant!

Just this morning, while preparing for this talk,

A VERY PERSONAL ISSUE that the scriptures helped me with – Thought I was to blame for Shyanne’s congenital heart defect. I was to blame because she was born with these challenges of the heart, kidney’s, lungs, 22q13.3 deletion syndrome….I wasn’t good enough so God had cursed her…NO, NO, NO

John Chapter 9 verses 1, 2, and 3

“And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: BUT THAT THE WORKS OF GOD SHOULD BE MADE MANIFEST IN HIM”

I speak to my children, Tyson, Brooke, Bennet, and Jovee, and my wife…we will be OK

I have this belief not just to grab hold of something, anything to comfort me. I KNOW, I ABSOLUTELY KNOW NOW, that we have a spirit, that I can see her again.

We will live again. Our spirits continue to live.

From the scriptures, found in the Book of Mormon, Alma 40:11, 12 Alma to his son Corianton:

“No concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection – Behold it has been made known unto me by an angel (AND IT HAS BEEN MADE KNOWN UNTO ME, TY LIM) that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, ARE TAKEN HOME to that God who gave them life.”

THIS IS REAL. Not just something that I want to grab on to just because I’m looking for peace.

Right before she died, as we lay in our bed with her, between mom and dad, she had all the signs of death, the fish out of water, right before she breathed her last breath, I said to her, “Shyanne, I’m going to be good”. I want to see her again, to be pure, to keep the commandments, to be a good man.


No goodbyes,only see you later. No such thing as goodbye!!!!! No more goodbyes.

Let’s celebrate how, through Shyanne, the works of God were made manifest…

Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: “SHE IS GONE”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes watching her coming, and the other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “HERE SHE COMES!”


Cried and shed more tears after the memorial service. I watched Mia try to comfort Pauline as she broke down for a moment after the service.

Drove to Woodland Cemetery. Grandpa Welchly offered the dedicatory prayer at the grave. A lot of people from the service came to the grave site. It was a cold and cloudy day. I was hoping Shyanne would pop out a bit of sunshine but it wasn’t to be. I had another break down and left everybody that was around the casket and grave.

Went back to the church for the dinner that was held for the immediate family. Was an excellent dinner put on by Marci, Wanda, Carrie, Holly, Jeannine Carter, and I think there was one other lady. I’ll remember later…Doug took pictures again. He and his Jeannine have been so good through all of this with all the support that they’ve given. Roast, potatoes, dessert was awesome! We all watched the video that Pauline made and the slide show that Shauneen made. Made us cry.

Marci showed a lot of compassion. Saw her in the kitchen shedding tears for Shyanne and our family. She’s been very helpful.

This I know:

We watched, intimately, Shyanne’s spirit leave her mortal body. We have a spirit inside of us. There’s no way that the love, personality, feelings, intelligence, strength, courage just goes POOF and just disappear. How asinine to even minutely think that.

This I know:

I can see Shyanne again. Life does not end after death. It just doesn’t. I’m not just trying to comfort myself by just saying it. She’s got a free ticket to the other side.

This I know:

Shyanne was sent here to be with me for me. I struggled with some issues (like life after death) and she has helped me. Unfortunately it took her dying to resolve ALL of my issues. Only because I’m human, from time and time again I might waver but for the most part, my issues are resolved. It only took a noble and great one to help me and I’m so eternally thankful for what she taught me.

This I know:

I’m tired and am going to sleep.

C U Later.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Woke up feeling sorrowfully heavy. Kind of like that all day.

Went to the print shop to get the flyer for Shyanne's memorial this Saturday. We calling it the celebration of the life of Shyanne. We'd like to make it a happy service. The theme is kind of a sunshiney, happy full of light theme. No darkness or gloominess is allowed.

We went after the print shop to Woodland cemetary. This was a sad moment. This is where her mortal body was going to be buried. Yes, her spirit lives on but picking out the cemetary plot was another "boom" she's gone moment. While standing at the plot that we felt good about, the sun was nicely shining mid day. It was cold but I felt the peace of yes, this is where her body should be. I'd like to think that she was there approving of the grave site because the sun was brightly shining. Yes, one of the 2 nicknames that I called her was "Shiny" Shyanne.

After the cemetary plot selection we went to pick out her dress that she would be buried in. Picked out a real nice one. Her casket is going to be white. She'll just blend right in.

Our amazingly caring friends stopped by for a few moments and comforted us. We have such amazing friends. Sheila and Gerri are great!

While in Spokane, the principal, teacher, and gym teacher stopped by our house with Aunt Renee and dropped off a newly used washer. The same day that Shyanne died (I guess it was yesterday - how time flies) our washing machine gave out. The school stopped by with that newly used washer. They also gave us a great amount of groceries and also a gift card with money on it. Just amazing!

Lifecare Solutions also stopped by to pick up the oxygen and the other machines that kept Shy going. I'm glad we weren't there for them to pick it up. Renee handled it all. Aunt Renee has done so much to help us out in all of this. She and her kids have been so very supportive. Thank you so much again.

One of the only reasons we're still sanely functioning is because of the amazing support from our family and friends. Carters have been heaven sent. He took so really great pictures of the familys last hours with Shyanne. Jeannine just took over and took care of much business for us. Thank you.

I'm tired now. It's all happened so fast. There's so much to process...but not now. Just mostly trying to keep busy with the memorial this Saturday.

We drove past the funeral home tonight and thought, "Shyanne's body is in there."

Oh, I miss her sooooo much. I just want to kiss her lips and have her lick my lips. That was her kiss to me....

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Funeral home took Shyanne's body last night and left our home at 11:00 pm. Just weird how the body becomes cold and inanimate. Makes you realize how powerful the human spirit is. The human spirit is so neat to be able to bring light and warmth to work our complicated, intricate body of ours.

It took a while to help Bennet realize that Shyanne's spirit still lives and her physical body is just a shell. It has hit the kids really hard. Jovee finally realized a little bit that Shyanne is dead. Jovee was pushing on Shyanne's chest to feel it go up and down, moving her arms but to realize that it just went completely limp. She cried.

It's an empty sick that I feel this morning. Just empty. I hurt really bad because I see Jeannine and the kids hurt and heart truly broken.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Memorial Service

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
34221 North Newport Highway
Chattaroy, WA 99003

Viewing at 1:00 pm
Memorial Service at 2:00 pm

Shyanne Grace Lim
09/09/09 - 01/06/10

Cards or donations can be mailed to mailing address:

PO Box 465
Deer Park, WA. 99006

Flowers can be mailed to physical address:

1219 N. Margaret Avenue
Deer Park, WA. 99006

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and support. Shyanne says see you later because there IS a later and because there is no such thing as goodbye.

See you later

Our little warrior passed away at 2:49 pm today.

2 Timothy 4:6,7

"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith"

Still here

Although we pulled the feeding tube, she's still here with us. Around 4 this morning Shyanne stopped breathing 4 different times and turned as pale as pale can be....we thought for sure she left us but as of this post, she's still fighting and still alive. Morphine had helped suppress her cough so that's been beneficial.

Kids are home indefinitely from school. They're taking it pretty hard, especially Bennet.

Hard early morning

Dr.'s probably right. She doesn't have much longer. We're turning off the feeding tube and pulling it out of her right now.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Met with all the Dr.'s, Surgeons and all the health care professionals today:

Prognosis = days, maybe weeks left for Shyanne

Her pulmonary vein is not operable. Her heart will give out on her soon. They don't know how long but saying "days, maybe weeks".

She's a warrior so wishing, hoping that they prove all the health care professonals wrong and lives for weeks, months, years. That's the optimist in me.

Told the kids when they got home from school. Tyson, Brooke, and Bennet cried and cried and cried. That's about all I've done today.

I'm feeling, hoping, wishing for weeks and not days. However long, we're glad to have her while she's here.

Very, very hard day.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Very Tired

Spent last night from 9:30 pm to 3:30 am at the hospital, had to take Shyanne to Emergency.

Her oxygen had to be bumped up to 2.5 liters per minute because her RR was at 110, Oxygen was at around 80%, and PBM was at 160-ish.

Very long night.

No big deal but had to get up at 4:15 am to take my awesome brother Mia and his wife Pauline to the airport. They came and visited us since Friday morning. They both got the flu really, really, really, really bad. Mia said it was the worst 12 hours of his life, with the plane ride home and all.

We played in a 4 person volleyball tournment this weekend with Kati Jo. Took 2nd out of 8 teams. Not bad for the shortest team there. We didn't have a game plan to stop this 17 year old kid from France named Anthony that just kept on ripping the ball. He and his team were tough. My buddy Todd tore his ACL. Totally sucks!

Tomorrow meeting with the team of doctors that has been caring for Shyanne. Big meeting.

Mia and Pauline took the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakel and said they had a good time watching Jovee laugh.

Work is very slow right now. Tough times financially all around for us and a lot of people.

Keep on keep'in forward!