The 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan died on us 8 miles before Cle Elum on 1-90, right before the rest stop. Had to pull over the side of the road and wait for about an hour. Bennet had to go poop really bad so Jeannine opened up the passenger door, put a towel up, and Bennet pooped right there. He had to go pretty bad. Had to get towed to a place called Factototem, an auto repair shop. Just a bum deal. We had 3 months worth of stuff packed tightly in the van. Luckily Tiffany and Micah was able to pick us up at the Subway in Cle Elum, go to the van to transfer all our stuff into the back of his Nissan Titan. Luckily there was enough room to fit all of us. It rained a bit so our stuff got a little wet but all was well.
The kids really like the Ronald McDonald House, especially the basement game room. Rich and Jessica picked up the Lexus at the house and got here about 4:15 pm. Now we have a car to get around. We'll have to get another vehicle eventually but the Lexus ES300 will be sufficient. Rich came in a heartbeat once he round out that the van broke down. What a good friend. I've always thought of him as a little brother so that was nice that your brother could come help you out.
If everybody only knew how strong Jovee is! If everybody could spend 1/2 the time that we've spent with her they would just know she's such a strong and wonderful spirit. How blessed Jeannine and I are to know her and be her parents. Her G-Tube is a little red but nothing to worry about (I don't think) and her vagina area is a little red. She says, "Owie" when we change her diaper so she's hurting a little bit from the redness but not too bad.
Ever since she was a baby Jeannine always sensed that she had some pain. It must have been from the cancer in her bones or bone marrow. I still remember seeing her grimace and sweat from her forehead when she was around almost a year old. We just thought she was constipated or something else; not cancer. Now with everything that she's had to go thru...and everything that she will have to go thru after the surgery...she's just so really special. I'm not saying that just because I'm her dad. If I wasn't her dad and gone thru and seen what she's had to deal with, I would definitely be so impressed with her. She really is a special baby. I sit her in the middle of the night, full of anxiety for tomorrow morning's surgery and just can't help but cry and cry. It's ok to cry. I've tried to research and have searched for many hours upon hours and would spend many more to find an alternative other than the invasive surgery to remove the tumor but have come up with nothing. I've fought hard for her and hope that she could say to me, "Dad, you've done a very good job for me". The day they were going to poke her to draw blood, the day I had to almost walk out of Seattle Children's because they said they couldn't draw blood out of her Hickman line...I had on my blue T-Shirt for American Cancer Society Walk-A-Thon that took place at Gonzaga University. The back of the shirt said Team Captain. I wasn't really a Team Captain because we didn't participate in the Walk-A-Thon but I just paid for and gave extra money and got that T-Shirt. One of the receptionists said that I fight the role of Team Captain. I am Team Captain for the Jovee Lim team, Jeannine is my beautiful cheerleader, and the kids are the other team members. Tyson is so good with her and I'm so proud of how her just treats her and takes care of her so carefully. He's a great older brother. Brooke and Jovee get along so well; very, very good sisters that bond. Bennet loves her too much. I only say too much because he is constantly touching her or giving her lov'ins that she gets annoyed with him sometimes.
Bennet had a nightmare on Wednesday morning that just broke Jeannine's heart. He said that Jovee was in surgery and died on the operating table. He told Jeannine about it and she just became very scared and sad. I don't know what that means; the dream.
Several people have called tonight but I just didn't want to talk to anyone about the surgery tomorrow. Only because I didn't want to just break down again and cry and have a Niagra Falls of tears. I just don't understand why Jovee or why our family has to go through this trial. I've learned many lessons since the beginning of all this and people have said that they have seen the change in Jeannine and I; the refining through the fire. People try to say things like "you two are special, strong parents to be able to get through this and still remain strong...". It's supposed to make us feel better or maybe there's nothing else to say but man, I feel so weak...many times. I just have to sing and try to believe the 3rd verse of How Firm A Foundation...over and over and over and over again.
"Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed! For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid; I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you so much for blessing my life with Jovee. Thank you so much for Tyson, Brooke, and Bennet. I'm trying to be a good dad to them. Please always protect and watch over them. They are really, really good kids. Thank you so much for a supportive companion/wife/friend like Jeannine. Please please forgive me of my sins. Please overlook my sins and bless and reward Jeannine's purity and righteousness with the healing of Jovee. I don't want to bargain with you. I don't want to bargain with something like, "If you heal Jovee I will...". I've always tried to do good and keep your commandments. I've always tried to take care of my fellow brothers and sisters, your sons and daughters. I know it's ok to ask for things. I know that you're in control of all things. I know that you've watched over me since my birth in Cambodia. Please, just take into consideration the good things that I've done in my life and just consider answering my petition and request to make Jovee's cancer go away and disappear and please let me raise her until I'm an old man. Like Beth Oiland said, I can ask big because Thou art Omnipotent and a loving Father in Heaven. All this is if it is in your plans... Thy will be done. I understand that I'm your son and am just talking with you and letting you know what I want. Please, please don't take the girl. I believe in miracles and I know that you can and I hope you will make all this cancer and all the events surrounding cancer go away. I know that this life is about learning and that I'll always have trials, no matter how good I live. Trials can be blessings and I've considered and counted the many blessings that we've received going through this cancer thing with Jovee. Please keep her around until I'm an old, old man.